It was a super early start again. We were ready to roll by not long after 5 am, but even so, outside the air conditioned house it was boilingly hot, although still dark. We quickly drove to Philly, only stopping at a drive thru for Nancy to get a doughnut and an iced tea. I had brought cherry juice and a banana with me from the house. Getting to the airport I discovered that security were pretty interested in me and they unpacked all my case, and I must admit, I was pretty stressed. It's such a HUGE big day for me, and I was feeling quite nauseous after that. Once we were through, we got to our gate and had to wait a while, so we logged on and saw the pic of Patti's cake. Looked very nice. The flight was as expected, in a much smaller aircraft but I loved it. This time I had the window and was looking out the whole time, with no ill effects. Rented a car at the other end and quickly found our hotel. We were very surprised and amused to discover that the whole West Ham football squad were out here playing some exhibition matches and were staying in the same hotel. The hotel was also full of Hammer's fans and Nancy found herself in the minority in her own country. Nancy was tired, and we couldn't check in right away as the hotel was so busy. We decided to have some breakfast and we got a good view of all the players moving about in the lobby as well as the huge numbers of fans of course.
The receptionist, a massive character, by the name of Sommer was going crazy trying to see to the throngs of English cluttering up her world. She asked us to wait a while, so while nancy nodded off pretty much I spent the time chatting to Glynn Snodin who is the Hammers team coach. I have a feeling he is famous, maybe even chief coach, but I dont much keep up with football these days, and I didnt recall whether he was or not. Eventually Sommer came through with out room.. an upgrade to a double suite, with 2 big tvs, a microwave, coffee maker, yadda yadda yadda for the inconvenience. Thanks very much Sommer. She said she was a huge Weird Al fan, which was lovely to know.
Now supplied with a reasonably private bathroom I was able to relax more. Nancy took a shower and went to bed so I decided to do this.
I barely dare to think about tonight. I am not sure that excited is quite the right word. It's not everyday a girl gets to meet face to face with the sexiest man on the planet, but today is gonna be that day.
I notice from what Patti has written on Woway that there is a "one picture, one signature rule" in force for after show guests. That's a bit of a blow really, nobody has mentioned it before and I was so determined to do something for my Yahoo-homies who can't make it to an Al show this time around. I was so gutted. I am still gonna try to do SOMETHING for you, Jess and Raquel. It seems a very hard rule under the circumstances. I'll see what i can manage anyway. So sorry!:(( Please don't be too downcast....I will try not to let you down ladies
Ok now I am scaring myself talking about it. Nancy is still asleep. Its a quarter to two in the afternoon, and as usual, I look like shit. I'll go shower soon whethr she awakens or not. Weather here is what Nancy calls overcast, but I call GREAT! but she still thinks it could rain which is a bummer as I didnt even bring a coat.
I'll post more later on what happens today obviously after it happens.
Well, we arrived at the LC Pavilion pretty early and we hung around with WOWAY forum pal Greg and his very nice girlfriend (whom I am hoping I remember correctly to be Rebecca?) They were doing a video for the "Make the Rock Hall Weird" Campaign. I was interviewed for this and they laughed some so I guess I did alright. Then we went around with a banner along the line persuading other people in the line to also take part. We met quite a few WOWAY pals like Denise and Ambra and Susie in the lines.
Then I went to Will Call to fetch my passes but was gutted to discover they wouldn't release them without photo ID, and I had left my passport locked up in the hotel. Luckily Nancy managed to sort this quite quickly, which was great. We saw Susie in a similar predicament and I promised her that as soon as I saw Jim I'd ask him, although, thanks to "Security" by the time we did find Jim (who had the pass in his pocket) the doors had been shut and they weren't letting anyone else in. So so sorry Susie. I swear I did my best, though I know that having the patch as a souvenir only must be cold comfort :-(
Anyway, I am getting ahead of myself. We went in around 7pm and it was still bright sunshine. We spoke briefly to Uwvark, Fred and others (sorry I didn't catch too many names- I was feeling totally scatterbrained at the time to the extent that I forgot to buy a water bottle or any merchandise D'oh! Stooopid! Good job I still have Scranton to look forward to. I was sat at the right hand end of the very front row, in front of the speaker next to Steve. I was sat next to two GREAT guys, Aaron(sp?) and Mike who are real fans and genuinely nice guys. I passed on my email to them as I think they might have some awesome pics for me, I'm really hoping they get in touch by email or just by joining WOWAY, we had a blast together and got on really well. Even the security dude in front of us was quite a nice guy.
Uwvark, who I had been looking forward to meeting, let himself down rather by having drunk too much alcohol. He managed to screw up the pics of my WBUL moment by jumping in front of Nancy's camera and waving his arms about. Cheers Man! much appreciated.. not! He's made up for it since though as he passed on to me the awesome video clip.
First sight of Steve and Jim when they came to check their equipment, and Jim saw me and smiled. This got my companions pretty excited as they realised that I knew some people.
Wow! What a gig! Way beyond "AWESOME". Al could easily see me right from the start, waving my flag and saw I was singing every word of every song along with the two lads. My eyes were glued to Al the whole time. I find him completely mesmerising anyway and live? Well you can imagine I'm sure. He really is just so incredibly beautiful.. not as tall as you might think and his expressive face and eyes are so alive and quick and intelligent looking- sigh-
He SO knew where I was, and he knew who I was too. He kept on looking and smiling.
When WBUL came on, and he got to "Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?" He put his foot up on my chair and presented me with a faceful of gyrating groinage. I'm like yelling "Bring it On!" as he's grinding in my face. I looked up and his face is SO close I could feel his breath and hear his unamplified voice. He gave me such a wicked grin you wouldnt believe, and then moved away to sing to others but was back for the chorus to shove his butt in my face so close I could have bitten it. RESULT!! and well worth the large cash outlay to come to the States Hahaha! I'm a happy bunny!.
Sadly, or maybe happily, I managed to keep my hands to myself- I am not ACTUALLY a disrespectful animal, you know! It was very tough though.. he has the sweetest ass in the history of humanity.
Nancy got all the end screaming bit done right at her and he touched the end of her nose, so she was pretty happy too.
Nancy and I swapped seats at the start of The Saga Begins, so I could get a taste of centre front.. which was truly fantastic. The only trouble with this was that, Al having located me at the right, near Steve, he decided in Yoda to shout out "OK only the British People sing now" and held the mic over that way. Nancy Aaron and Mike were yelling and pointing back to the centre of the row, and I was yelling "I'm over here" but it was dark now and he couldn't see so well with all the dry-ice around as well. Oh well, it was really funny anyway and a most HUGE privilege that he did that. He knew who I was anyway. Bless him, what a sweetheart! The show pressed on and I was still singing everyword and waving my flag so Al easily found me at the front again by the time White & Nerdy was on and he kept making eye contact. Steve was laughing and making faces too.
I didn't have a cell-phone so I held up my hand-fan that has an LED light on it that reads "I LOVE YOU AL" on it . Hehehe.. me and my creepy fan-girl ways huh? Right at the end of Albuquerque as he was saying goodnight he made eye contact again and some sort of hand gesture that looked like a thumbs up so I responded likewise and mouthed THANK YOU! and he smiled again. What a babe!
I hadnt missed out on any of the lyrics to any of the songs. I even managed to keep in with most of the YODA chant although I'd love to see a lyric sheet for the African bit because I'm pretty sure its not what I'm doing LOL
I wish I could remember more detail. I didn't bother taking any pictures, as I knew Fred was there and when I saw her after she said she had about 500. As Fred is an awesome photographer, I figure I won't need any pics of my own. Like I said, the only really personally important image got screwed up anyway. Shit happens I guess.
After the show, we put on our passes and waited at the Admin door. I was expecting Jim to come as that was the message that I had had but instead some Security dude herded everyone like cattle into a dingy little room with a long table and told us to line up. Al was brought in by a Security guy who explained we could get only one signature and one picture, which was a big blow as I had been hoping to get autographs for Raquel and Jessica.
I looked at Al, he seemed small and delicate next to the security guy, he was patient and friendly and obviously very tired. Nancy and I hung back at first hoping for a better chance but something told me waiting wasn't going to be OK tonight and I already suspected there'd be not meet-and-greet by the buses just from seeing how tired Al appeared to be, so I did go forward, (still conscious that I needed to find Jim and get to Susie somehow) and we shook hands I suppose. I have no idea what he said, or what I said.. maybe it will come back to me. I hope so. He signed my flag and I gave him the painting and the other things. Nancy took some pictures very quickly, maybe five? I still haven't seen them properly so far. Nancy was gonna send them to my Yahoo mail but they've not arrived yet and I think we need to find another way. One is very cute, of me catching him doing one of his silly faces so we are looking at each other which is lovely.The others luckily are of the side of my head and my hair so they're a lot nicer to look at anyway lol.
I suddenly realise there is probably no pic of Nancy getting her book signed. I don't remember her handing me the camera at any time.. Oh dear!:(( I guess I was away with the fairies. I wonder if anyone took a pic. There was a lady from the venue taking some.
After that we left the room and Security tried to herd us out of the building but I just said NO, and that we were guests of a band member and were going to wait to see them. They left us alone after that. Fortunately, Jon happened to come past and kindly led us off to look for Jim. It was interesting seeing the crew dismantling all the rig. I introduced myself to Jon and we chatted about my mad fan-journey to see them and he said that was a really nice thing to do. I complimented him on the show and explained about the mix up when Nancy and I swapped seats. He thought it was funny. By now we were standing by the big black bus and Jon went inside, returning a moment later with Jim in tow. I quickly said about Susie and he fished a pass out of his pocket, but alas I now had no way of getting it to her which I felt very bad about. Jim said there had been a few mix ups and that sometimes Security did their job "too well" or something like that. We stood and chatted to Jim and Jon for ages and Jim fetched us water bottles from the bus I gave Jim his painting and explained about it. We talked of my US adventure and especially of our day in New York and I said how much I had enjoyed it, after feeling rather worried at first, I'm not a person who feels at home in a crowd of people. Nancy took a pic of Jim and I together and I got a couple of big hugs from both the lads, but I don't think Nancy took one of Jon and I together though. I got both of their autographs and Jon wrote for ages it seemed, he put a little thank you on there as well which was so sweet.
Shortly after we said our goodbyes and were taken out of the compound. In the street we were met again by Aaron and Mike (Aaron provided me with the pic of my red suit moment). They were really excited for us and wanted to see my signed flag etc. I gave Aaron my email written on a piece of Canadian Idiot Streamer. I really hope he didn't lose it, as I am sure that if anyone captured my big moment, it would have been him (He did!). Then we bumped into Susie again and I said she might get in if she hurried, but she said that the doors had shut not that long after we had gone in anyway. I gave her the pass anyway. I hope she's not mad at me.
Back to the car and we drove back to the hotel in a haze of very happy thoughts getting lost in the One Way system a bit but really not caring at all.
I'm more than slightly hazy at this point, I think I was online for a while on Nancy's laptop as I remember the time being 1:11 by the clock on there (Who knows where the time goes?) I think I posted a brief review on WOWAY. I slept pretty well.
Woke up super early again, but I really didn't have much to write down as I posted most of it yesterday. Friday closed with the return of Nancy's husband Jack from a business trip. Despite being very tired he stopped to have a brief friendly chat before taking himself off to catch up on some sleep.
As soon as possible I grabbed a brief shower.. It caught me out again but I got the hang of it fairly quickly. I got dressed and prepared for a day out in New York. We drove to Hamilton station and caught the train shortly before 9 am to Penn Station New York. It was great on the train. It was nice to see ordinary Americans going off for a day in the city, to see all the interesting and infinite variety of faces mostly all smiling and happy about going out for the day. One thing that interested me was that the train guard who comes to check your ticket takes it away with him and doesnt give it back as they do in England. I figure it has to be a pretty easy system to cheat, but I dont know. The guard looked pretty scary, I wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of him.
At Penn Station we saw a security guy on a Segway.We got out and found a bathroom. The Toilets in the USA are really strange and dont feel at all private and you can see over them, under them and all around the edges of the door which is grim if you want any sort of privacy. I have been suffering severe bathroom anxiety and all these attendant problems. Why they are like this is anyones guess. I cant see any advantage to it at all and British women just would not tolerate it at all I am certain.
We left the station for a moment and took a photo or two outside. Then we went back in to ride the subway. We accidentally got the express, which didnt stop where we initially wanted to go but it didnt matter really, we just walked back over ground anyway. We spent all the day walking around New York. I guess we must have walked miles. The first thing we did was get a bagel with cream cheese, which we ate in a pretty little area behind some tall buildings where there was a pleasant fountain and we watched the little sparrows cooling themselves in the water. Walking on we saw a bookstore I think maybe Barnes and Noble? where I decided I would like to look for the USA DVD version of UHF.. the one with ALL the extras. Having seen them the other night I knew I could live without this item no longer and even though It will noy play on my home DVD it ought to play on my computer ok as that is US format dvd compatible. Yay!. After that we went to Central Park and walked up to Columbus Circle, the entrance to the park and walked in. Nancy had never been before as mostly when she is in NY it is still winter and the park isn't as appealing. It was stupendously HOT.. 91 degrees we saw on a Times Square billboard thing. The park was well shaded of course and it was just a great place. Reminded me a lot of the parks in central Southampton (bigger of course, but just as full of tramps on benches and people just sitting around reading, or jogging or cycling or whatever. It made me think of "Friends" and the dozens of movies I have watched featuring this location. In Central Park there is a "Galloper"; an old fashioned carousel built in memorial to some poor mother's son. Nancy wanted to go on and persuaded me that it was stupid enough to be good fun, and so it was indeed. I loved particularly that the music for the ride was "Ding Dong, The Wicked Witch is Dead" and I spared a nanosecond of my life thinking evil of Margaret Thatcher at this point.
The carousel was enormous fun. Nancy and I have really hit it off I think and we just had a blast doing silly things. I ate something cold and very green, much to Nancy's disgust haha. I was really getting into the heat. I guess it was shortly before midday at this point. We left the park and rounded the corner and discovered that we had located the zoo. We watched the Llamas and some kids in the petting zoo playing with pygmy goats, but it smelled like poop so we moved on.
We walked all the way up 5th Avenue to all the prestigious places taking a few more photos. I really wish I had noted down all the places, but I didnt. Places I recall seeing are The Chrysler Building, Radio City Music Hall, Trump Tower and NYC Central library, but there were so many things. We walked down Broadway, and next to the theatre that is showing Mamma Mia currently was a MAD diner, Ellens Stardust Lounge, where the waiters did karaoke whilst waiting on tables. I just had an awesome choc milkshake, but Nancy had a quesedilla and something alcoholic. She also got sung to by a very gay waiter which was pretty funny. It was at this point I was very aware of being in an utterly foreign country and culture! LOL.
Walking through Times Square I got chatting to a guy handing out fliers. He was very impressed when I told him we were going to see Weird Al (twice) and wished he could come along. We talked briefly about Bill Bailey and the Jongleurs comedy club in the UK. It was a pleasant exchange with a very nice guy and we shook hands as we said goodbye. People here are so nice. We did see a whole load of police carrying big old machine guns which was kind of strange.
Nancy took heaps of pics of me looking very fat and ugly standing in front of various landmarks. I expect I'll have to spend ages cropping myself out of the pictures to make them presentable. What else did we do? We went to a cool street market which had a very festival feel and then went to the Waldorf Astoria hotel and used their bathroom which was very plush. I will blog some more later as it's late and I have an early start tomorrow. Theres still a lot more of Saturday to go
After the diner we walked for a really long time, just talking and really getting to know each other. We went to Rockerfeller Plaza, and into the Met Museum of Art shop where I picked up some stuff I hope Jenny will like.
We went in St Patricks Catholic Cathedral and lit a candle each. I said a prayer for my family, for friends and everyone in general really and especially thanked God for my great good fortune in being in that place at all. I can't remember all the places we went though. Nancy occasionally goes to New York, but it is generally in the winter months so she hadn't done the park or the street market before,but she was pretty good at knowing where stuff was in general. We wandered around all day.. the Public Library, the Waldorf-Astoria. I ended up drinking a huge Caramel frappuchino, sitting on the tree shaded benches at the Lincoln Centre, listening to a soundcheck for a salsa-jazz band who were playing there later that evening. It was idyllic, it was awesome, it might be the most fun anyone ever had aimlessly wandering around New York on a hot summer's day, with no agenda and no list of historic sights to tick off a list; just a perfect day spent with a warm, wonderful, intelligent and fascinating person in the most incredibly vibrant and exciting city in the world.
Ok so I did only see the Empire State building in silhouette in the distance as the train pulled into NYC that morning; I may have not seen the harbour or the statue of Liberty (we saw a performance artist dressed as that though), but I did get to chill with real New Yorkers in Columbus Circle, just being a part of it all, and feeling a part of it all right to my bones.
As evening wore on we went home, the train was slow and crowded but we didn't mind. When we got to the car, the SatNav sent us all through Trenton NJ, but it was all fun. It was something past ten pm when we finally arrived home. We had to stop at Wegmans for some things for Erin.
A quick shower and then I packed my case for today and went to bed.... I am so happy.
Thursday 17th July 9:24 am Heathrow Airport Awesome! I am in an airport! Mum and Dad picked me up not long after 6 am. I nodded off in the car despite frequent toilet stops along the way and the journey seemed nothing at all. I took some travel meds and was pretty chilled out. Arrived so early I had to wait half an hour to drop my bags so my parents went home. I finally checked them into desk 27.
Slight panic through security as my hairclips and underwear set the machine off so must remember to avoid underwires in future at airports. I filled out some forms (wrongly as it turned out and they had to be done over again.)
4:54 EDT (9:54 BST) Ok well I wandered around the airport for a bit and found the gate. there was a bus to the aircraft which seemed smaller than i had expected.I found my seat, next to a pleasant couple from Maidstone who will be on the return flight also. It was exactly like being on a train. I didn't eat the food as it all had tomatoes in but I did ask for a bread roll near the end of the flight as I was in desperation by that time. I didnt feel I was particularly well looked after and nothing much was explained.
On the descent my ears went weird and they're only just coming back online.. which is a problem as Nancy and her kids are very softly spoken and I haven't quite got the hang of the accent yet.
On the flight I watched a gig/movie of the Rolling Stones which blocked out the babies crying etc pretty well and was quite good. I think I must have nodded off intermittently as it seemed like no more than two or three hours and nothing like seven or whatever it was eventually.
Philly airport is pretty clinical. I am not looking forward to spending most off my last day in the States cooling my heels there to be honest, but hey.. I'm lucky to be here at all. Got slightly worried my bags weren't gonna show up, but they did eventually. Security was grim. i *still* hadn't filled out the forms just right so had to go back and do them a third time I told you I was rubbish at forms.
I emerged at Arrivals and spotted Nancy more or less straight away. Shes a very distinctive tall lady with to-die-for thick golden-honey hair. I'm afraid I spent most of the time going "huh?" as I couldn't make out her words at all with my ears so messed up. We made our way outside to the car park and yeah.. I went around to the driver's side of course. I don't think I have ever been in a LHD car before and this caught me out a number of times. First impressions of the airport area of Philly is that it was so unbelievably hot and that it is that it is similar to the reclaimed land bits of Southampton.. i.e ugly, but moving NE to where Nancy is, my major impression was of the VAST number of shredded tyre fragments that litter the freeway and other roads. Terrifying to see that sort of carriageway debris is taken as normal. I've never seen the like on British roads. Maybe our safety standards are higher, or our Highway maintenance better or maybe we just have fewer huge trucks? I don't know.
I asked Nancy about various landmarks and she did her best to answer all my questions as best she could, and I had a lot of questions to ask.. some of which bamboozled her a little I think. I hope she likes me and doesn't think I am too Full-On. (because I am a bit, especially when I'm nervous) Anyway Nancy pointed out a few places , including a brightly painted strip-joint.. that made me laugh a lot!
We went to a huge, but very classy supermarket called Wegmans where they have oak cases for their refrigerators LOL. It was pretty big and I've never seen so many fresh fruits and vegetables. I saw a lot of varieties which are new to me and we discovered that we have different ideas of what a cucumber is.. this led on to a lot of girly hilarity as you may imagine and I'm sure Mother would go mental at me for being so juvenile about the wieners and the moist towelettes. hahaha.
I had a good laugh at all the weird foreign food.. I mean.. eggs in a carton instead of a shell, cheese in a can? whats that all about then?. Bran cereal comes with everything BUT sultanas here apparently. We bought hummus and some other stuff and went back to Nancy's.
Its a gorgeous house, really spacious and cool with a back garden that looks out over unspoilt countryside. Nancy's kids are adorable, really nice people who are courteous, but warm and friendly with it. Erin has very kindly given up her room to me for my stay and although it's pretty heavy on the Jonas Bros in there, there's also a signed photo of Weird Al to keep me company.
The dogs are really fun to be around, except the eldest one Maggie, hasn't accepted me yet and barks at me, but Dixie and Noelle are great fun. I asked Noelle the poodle if she was either the Governor of California or the world's largest land mammal, but she just licked my hand. Cutie she is. I had a Philly Cheesesteak for my supper! Mike Minnick will be pleased to hear that. Basically its meatloaf in a baguette with cheese and is very nice, and very filling. I couldnt manage the knobby end alas, (as the Actress said to the Bishop)
After that I got onto the family computer and tried to check out all my copious mail and comment, If I've not got back to yours I am so sorry... It's a bit rushed here and I dunno how much time I have on this thing. I put my page player on and Nancy loved a lot of my music, which was good.
Nancy and I decided to round off the evening by watching WAY LIVE on her 52 inch TV which was a near orgasmic experience for me............ sigh! and after that I finally got to see the deleted scenes section of the US dvd version of UHF which I have been longing to see for the longest time. Great stuff, although I do think Al was a bit hard on some of the material, which looked pretty funny to me... and they definitely should have left in the love scene ... even if just for Raquel and I to enjoy.. it was pretty hot anyway. Bed time was 10:30 local time and 3:30 my at home time which is totally normal for me anyway. I woke up again naturally at local time 4:30 am (9:30 am at home). I've not changed my watch as I don't know how. Typical girl, never read the manual! Ok it is 9:15 local time here now 2:15 at home. and Raquel is waiting I must post this before I lose it a second time ARGGH ALWAYS BLOG INTO A TEXT FILE SO TOM DOESN'T EAT IT! will I NEVER learn?
Friday. (Part of)
I woke up, as I said, at 4:30 in the morning and lay there writing out my blog longhand in my notebook. Once it did seem like time to get up I decided to go for a shower. This was not the best idea as I had not actually asked how to operate it and it turned out to be fifteen seconds of freezing cold water (this is how long it took to get the bloody tap off again) Anyway I figured it was enough of a wake up so I bailed out again, then came down and wrote all my blog out twice (Tom ate it the first time) Later we went out for breakfast with a friend of Nancy's called Martha who is a delightful, wise, intelligent and very charming lady who sort of utters timeless Truth without really even needing to think about it. I really liked her a lot. We went to a diner and I had toast and coffee with juice. I was amazed to discover that American people eat bacon with waffles and maple syrup (that's just wrong on so many levels) and they were just as amazed to discover we don't eat Danish pastries for breakfast Jam is "Jelly" and Jelly is "Jello" Anyway we had a lot of fun there and had a good laugh about all sorts of stuff. Later on, we took Erin to her appointment and I waited in the waiting room feeling quite sleepy. It was probably about 6 pm back home by then, but that's just lunchtime here. After that we drove into Philadelphia and walked from the car park into South Street which is a fairly bohemian area full of independent shops and boutiques, restaurants and a few bars. We were on the look out for something for Jenny as a gift and we couldn't find anything for quite a while. You have to remember that the heat was utterly killing, but now I was getting into it and enjoying it some. We looked about a bit and finally I found something I hope she will like, I may need to get something else as well though.
Nancy bought us all a water ice, which is basically a cup of brain freezingly cold sorbet which is completely gorgeous and I also shared a soft pretzel with her. Its a weird thing, almost like a very salty doughnut. The doughnut bit was ok, the salt was a little much. We wandered down (positively) 4th Street and saw the lovely old Episcopalian Church and the churchyard with nice old tombstones. I didn't get too much into looking, as we were all hot and tired and Nancy was hungry so we went to a restaurant where I had a burger and it was really nice, not greasy, like burgers back home at all. The chips were to die for.. I've never had better. The waitress kept bringing us vast glasses of iced water with lemon. Everyone is so sweet and very responsive to a smiley face.. Not at all like home. People here are serious about the jobs they do, not apathetic. If those girls at Costa Coffee in Lymington could see this place, maybe they'd buck their ideas up. Everyone is smiley and cannot do enough for you. Think on.
After we ate we decided to go back home so apart from stopping off to get a cheesesteak for Brian, we came straight back It was a really lovely day and Erin is such a sweetheart and was very patient and accommodating as I dragged everyone round all the weirdo shops looking for something for Jenny. I think tomorrow we are going to New York. I am happy to be taken about and haven't said specific places I would like to go. I don't want this visit to be like a checklist. I want it to be spontaneous and fun, not just a list of sights. I can look the sights up on the web. What is important is just the being here and enjoying the company of a bunch of really cool people and asking a ton of dumb noob questions hehee (which is extra fun if they don't know the answers) I don't think getting to know America is all about seeing where George Washington slept.. its about arseing about in the supermarket and laughing about silly stuff and being stupid and having FUN. That's why I came here anyway. I have to say that the thought of the gig as it looms ever nearer is quite well, literally awesome.. awe-inspiring then. I'm actually scared.. haha Oh Lord, please, if you love me don't make me want to go to the toilet every five minutes. Bladder! take heed you are on a warning!. Oh and.....Please don't let me faint or make a total arse of myself
8.44 am Sitting here thinking that in 24 hours I will be at the airport already.. waiting for my flight to Philadelphia. State of nerves? Some what similar to waiting to go into labour, to be honest.
A sense of the irrevocable march of time and conflicting feelings about wanting it to speed up and wanting it to slow down. What do I want to do most? Well, I need to see Del and get some scanning done, but I don't know what work he
has on today.. so.. intelligent thought numero uno.. phone Del (Zenzero). Done Ok thats one for this evening then. Next? Ummm more wasting time at the computer I guess! Coffee would be nice, and a read through of Raquel's story might calm me down a bit... or not!
Well I have enough clothes, although theyre mostly too thick and heavy for an American summer. Oh well, the whole concept is "White & Nerdy" so I guess I'll qualify on a number of counts. I look horrible at the moment.
So.. Music then. Nine Inch Nails "Closer" seems to be the song of the moment... Yeah, I know...!Nothing cute and fluffy in this location currently.
First of what I imagine will be the first of several baths/hairwashes today, and a first play today for Running With Scissors.. This really is Al-fan penicillin Wow well thats most of the morning done then I'm just killing time now.
OK That was a mistake. The Doors "The End" is a bad idea for anyone contemplating big stuff. I need some more Al Music.. what though? Not Airline Amy or Albuquerque (I could never have spelled that right before being a saddo fan-girl LOL). The voices in my head are telling me to listen to The Doors again.. Argghh. I need more uplift than an obese albatross... It's gotta be...
Yeah.. Dare to be Stupid!
I never thought that online games were particularly educational until today. I once (or twice) played a mad thing online called "Jamie Kane"
I didnt expect it to help me check in for an international aeroplane flight, but it did, so .. yeah that was good
What DIDN'T help much was that I had to check in from my parents computer on their ludicrously slow dial-up. I'd have done it from home if I had any printer ink, plus mother was keen to talk me through the process, which mainly seemed to consist of Mum informing me that if "the little tellies" weren't flashing I wasn't on the internet. WTG Mum! You dont say? Bless her, but she still thinks a Commodore 64 is top of the range. Her computer skills stopped with the BBC-B and since then, its been a struggle to get her to even write a single e-mail..
Dear sweet mother, my best friend in the whole world is firmly of the idea that anything that happened. after about 1965 is not really very nice, is "Un-English" and therefore to be avoided. Both of my parents are very "New-Elizabethan and Festival of Britain" types with a lingering fondness for the glories of Empire... Scouts/Guides, Fee paying School, Armed Services..Nothing wrong in that of course, except they are on a permanent collision course with what they still refer to as "The Permissive Society"... sigh.........I've never really lived up to their expectations, but they do disguise the disappointment well, most of the time.
Anyway, I digress. Basically, what I was trying to say was. I am now checked in. I have an aisle seat in the back of the mid section. No, I didn't look to see what sort of plane it was. One that wont break hopefully. I think thats all I need to know. Now? Well, more filling in time for a while I guess.............
Ok, where to begin? How far back does this thing have roots? Does it matter, really? You don't care after all..
I don't know if you have ever been in a place where there seems absolutely no chance that anything nice could ever happen again, and you know for sure and certain that there will be no more lovers, no more romance, no more togetherness? I've been there... I'll get the violins bit over quickly I promise.. You know the story already anyway. I don't enjoying taxing people's compassion much, it's in short supply these days.
First I should say that when my last relationship ended I gave up taking all the "recreational" drugs I had been using constantly since I was a teenager.. .. Anyway, there I was at 38, minus the man I had thought of as the total love of my life and completely lost, with nothing to do but blame myself for everything right from the beginning on. How could I have been so blind (again)? How had I allowed this person to have been more important to me than my child?.. How could I have ignored all the clues so spectacularly? etc etc ad infinitum.
I unplugged the stereo for good and became a hermit, living in silence and gloom, never going outside in daylight, never contacting friends (did I even have any?) living on cigarettes and strong coffee and going quietly insane. I piled on the weight. What did I care? I just wanted to not wake up in the morning, and nothing could persuade me that my daughter would not be better off without a loser like me looking after her. Goodness knows how she managed. She became quite self-contained and self-reliant and completely unlike me in character.. GOOD!
Everyone was doing it; Death was in fashion... Anji, Rupert, Angela, Mark, Gary, Martin, Jonathan, Simon, Sally, Tim, Sean, Steve, Jeremy, Shaun, Bill, Robert, Jim, another Simon, another Tim, another Mark, Stuart, another Mark, another Martin, another Steve, Sara, Lasse,
the list goes on and on .........everywhere I looked, my contemporaries and friends were giving up or giving out, either tired or worn out by life lived on the edge. At the time I felt it to be a personal tragedy that I was doomed to be the survivor.. which shows how screwed the mind of a clinically depressed person can be I guess. Obviously, a doctor would only have made things worse for me, so I was completely on my own.
Time kind of telescoped out and in, and out of existence; as the next I remember, it was three years later and Mother could bear it no longer and she forced me to go swimming three times a week. This at least provided enough boot to the butt for me to become aware I'd lost three years almost without trace. I was in trouble with the Tax office about some forms that had been filled out wrongly and I realised things had to change. The coffee and cigarettes went...
BEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE FOR MYSELF!!!!!!
Seriously. I cannot stress to you how much difference getting free of caffeine and nicotine has made, much more of a difference than giving up hash and hallucinogens certainly. I've been addicted to caffeine since I was 4 years old for goodness sakes! I know *now* that it makes me psychotic.. I had no clue at all. My body was so accustomed that for all my life I genuinely believed that even the strongest coffee had no stimulant effect on me whatsoever.
Giving up smoking ought not to have been so easy I guess, but I had an absolute graveyard cough that persisted for six months of the year by that time, and a chest infection of a particularly unpleasant nature was the final nail in that habit. I was just too ill to smoke and by the time I felt well enough again I just didnt want them anymore. I put a lot more weight on though ! LOL!
Celery is a good thing to eat when you are giving up smoking.. it takes a lot of chewing, occupies your smoking hand, is not so delicious that you want to pig out on it, it's cleansing and also you can eat a ton of it without feeling gross).. Sadly for my waistline I didnt have enough celery I guess.
Not long after all that I started wondering how come I was still alive I guess, and without wanting to be an evangelist about it and bore people, I realised that "My Redeemer Liveth" and was within me and I realised that I had been saved by the love of Christ. Probably a strange thing for a dyed in the wool atheist to conclude perhaps, but it certainly made a lot of sense to me and still does, although in a much more assimilated and integral way now than at the time.
I began to attend church twice or more a week and I got a great deal of new life-force from it all. I certainly dont think I would be where I am now without that as my comfort and strength. It meant a great deal to finally be Confirmed in the Church on April 22 2007. Finally I felt safe.
Very very gradually, I started to talk to people, learned to smile again and was hit with the full force of everything my Mum had done for me in the background all the time I was so wedded to my illness, sorrow and confusion. I felt like I had been in a coma... not just since 2002, but since I first began smoking hash all those years ago, and was only just now awakening... having lost most of my life to a fog of drug induced delusion, apathy and inertia.. and with no idea at all how to be any different. Starting out afresh as a 43 year old divorced mother of a teenager is no joke.
I haven't really done anything. I've been an astrologer, a sailmaker, a nursery worker, a haberdasher; none was a career. I'm bright.. actually scarily bright. I know that, but not in a "bankable " way perhaps? How on earth to exploit my gifts? I have no idea!
I am a natural researcher. I can find all sorts of stuff out about you that you wouldnt want people to know. I know where your parents live, I know where you went to school. I have an aerial photo of your pool, Baby; and dont stand near the window when you come out of the shower.. oh and I know how much you paid for that pad. I have the realtor's details you know..
I know all sorts of stuff about your grandparents and great grandparents that even you do not know. That is my strength. Its what I do. It's what I spent six years honing to a fine art, when that was all I was able to focus on; but also something I have done all my life. Family trees have always been my fascination, and the scope of that is a lot wider than people think. I am so far back in history with my own tree now that it's not even turning me on any more. I'm in need of other trees and fresher meat.
Anyway, all that aside, the slightly new me, woken up, sitting up and taking notice for the first time in forever was still living in silence at the beginning of this year.
I think it was the E-Bay Song that did it Anyway... I rushed out the next day and bought the DVD "Weird Al" Yankovic Live! and WHHOOOOOOSH! Suddenly I'm on a mad rollercoaster of crazy fun and lovely new friends on WOWAY and MySpace
This is me on the 11th February of this year
"What on Earth has happened to me?
In a week and a half I feel like Ive got ten years younger.. which has to be a good thing. My appetite has gone totally and I'm losing weight visibly.. I actually RAN part of the way home! (Something I'm pretty sure I haven't done so far this century) Combination of things perhaps?
New life, New music.. Thanks Al... Yeah, I know that sounds like a stupid fan-girl... ... but I haven't even been able to listen to ANY music in the longest time, without bursting into tears. I remember way back; must be in 2002, dining with my dear friend Pete in his Italian restaurant; Pete actually had to turn the music off in there just so I could get through the meal (Mind you, in my defence it was Dido; not exactly conducive to emotional stability!) And now a sudden change, overnight pretty much. I've learned to laugh and smile again. Its GREAT! I've been such an idiot.. what a waste of another 5 years, grieving over someone so utterly unworthy (again) I could kick myself, but then again, that'd stop me bopping about the room and trying to "rap"
hehe"
And me again three days later
" I have a strange relationship with music. It's intense, and has always been intense to the point where I'd occasionally buy an album I didn't like just to hear a single song, and maybe not so much as a song, but even just a single musical phrase that had a stand-alone beauty.
Music has filled my head all my life, even in the silent years when I just wanted stillness. It's so mathematical, so precise and logical. Sadly, you get a lot of other stuff as well, flowing in with the sound; other people's pain and loss, their insecurities, their hang ups and prejudices.. to a point that becomes unbearable for someone who (was) so plugged in to it all, to whom every note was poetic.
(This is not much helped by being, umm, shall we say "amorously disappointed" by a musician, I guess) I picked up my guitar today for the first time in probably six years... (almost unbelievably it was still in tune!) It took a lot for me to do that.
I don't know yet if I will take it up again. I never was much good at it, though I could do a solid rhythm if I say so myself. Remarkable what an injection of good humour can do really isnt it?"
So now, having met some quite remarkable and amazing people I am suddenly in a position where I have only a few weeks before flying out to the USA to see my MySpace friends Jim and Nancy and Weird Al for real. I have never been on an aeroplane in my life. I probably do not deserve such good fortune, but I must say I do feel I am truly blessed... Watch this space
